Whether you partake in Black Friday or not, the extensive news coverage of the infamous shopping holiday sheds light on consumerism in America.
While our Scandinavian agents of goo only know it as a day “for Americans to get even more crazy about buying stuff,” and a once-a year “opportunity for businesses to hype up interest in their products with crazy low prices,” our U.S. agents are much more cynical.
Stampedes, thefts, fights and even deaths that have occurred put the black mark on Black Friday. You’ve seen it all, heard it all, and if you were smart, avoided it all!
But if you plan on braving the crowds this year, we can assure these are the top 10 things you won’t hear.
Things You’ll Never Hear On Black Friday
1. “Let’s line up 3 weeks early so we can get a new camera!” (Oh wait… that did happen).
2. “Here, you can have my spot in line, I’ll wait in the back for my friends.”
3. “Let’s give our money to the Salvation Army bell ringers instead.”
4. “They are out of shopping carts! Oh well, we can carry everything to burn off those Thanksgiving calories.”
5. “Awh how nice of that man to give up the last flat screen TV.”
6. “50% off is so not worth it, and I don’t really need it after all.”
7. “We’re not in a hurry, let’s choose the longer line so we can talk.”
8. “I’m just here for fun, not to shop; we’re focusing on the true meaning of Christmas this year and not getting sidetracked by extravagant gifts.”
9. “Oh the news is on! Let’s watch and see how peacefully everything went today. Wow, no one got trampled!”
10. And our personal favorite… “Black Friday makes me really appreciate the beauty in humanity.”
*Fun fact: Pushing a cart up and down those aisles for an hour can burn more than 250 calories. Don’t forget to carry your items to the car yourself for even more healthy calorie-burning fun.
But if you are one of those Black Friday crazed shoppers, far be it for us to stand in your way (trust me, there will be plenty of other people standing in your way shortly). Download this year’s #1 Black Friday app to get the best deals before anyone else.